if i was going to write a personal mythology, i think this spot on the american river, at the bottom of what's now being called 'cardiac hill *steep*'+ a bit more of a hill to the river's edge--this spot where the river splits into three--two rock filled rapid alleys, and one slow moving lane closest to the trail, followed by slow deep water--this spot with its sand and rocks along the edge and bright sun and shallow and deep, slow and quick running water, and slopes of oaks and little pines, would be the center or beginning place of the world. the creatures--a bright red huge dragon fly with a double pair of wings that stay spread when it rests, unlike the quick, mobile bright blue streak dragonflies whose nearly invisible wings fold in, streamline, when they are still for a moment. two butterflies, both black, one with bright blue on the bottom edge of its wings, the other green-blue, searching for the right place to land in the sand (what are they doing in the sand? gathering energy?), flirting a bit in circles around each other; tiny violet moths; medium sized moths the exact same color as the creamy yellow grass; a beige butterfly, the same color as a dried oak leaf, with three circle 'eyes' on each of the top of its wings, the topmost of the eyes mirrored on the underside of its wings, but not the bottom two.
it feels like summer. maybe it's the halter top and linen pants, the flipflops, the river, and dry heat, the mango (2 for $1, best price of the season, compare to gas, 50 cents more a gallon than anywhere else in the country) and watermelon, browning skin, ice tea, napping outside, open nighttime windows letting through cricket sounds.
tomorrow we're driving 9 hours south for the annual beachcamping, and i won't be back till the next saturday. mmm ocean. and big family chaos. i like belonging to chaos.
posted by Liza 16.8.03